Hurting Hearts. February is Heart Health Awareness month. I've seen women wearing their red dresses, shirts, and scrubs on Women's Heart day. Magazines have stories about heart healthy diets and exercises. I've even gone for my pre-surgery cardio check-up during February. And there were plenty of hearts on Valentine's Day. Hearts to show love and affection for those people who are special. However, with the emphasis on our physical hearts, we forget about our spiritual and emotional hearts.
Right now there is a situation in my extended family that has resulted in hurting hearts. Hearts that are being broken by events that probably could not have been avoided. The emotional toll is tremendous and radiates beyond just the person involved. God has put into our make-ups the capacity to love and to hurt when someone we love is hurting. Sometimes I wonder why. Why such a gift? To me, the hurt I feel right now is just a small taste of how God's heart is broken when we disobey Him; when we fall away from His Will; when we forget Him in our daily lives. I'm ashamed to think that when I sin, when I don't tell my God I love Him, that I hurt Him. I don't need a special month to emphasize my spiritual heart for God. I need to do that every day of my life.
But what about those I know who are hurting? Whose hearts are being broken? I can't be there physically, but God has given me the privilege of being able to ask Him to touch them and heal their broken hearts. I just need to ask. He has promised never to leave me or forsake me, and I know He is ready to answer my prayers. I have to be ready for his answer.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
changes
During this election year, all we've heard about is change. With our new President now in office, I'll be waiting to see if change occurs. Will things ever really be different?
Change is also the theme of my life right now. These changes have nothing to do with politics or the economy, but are personal changes. Fortunately, I like change, and I usually embrace changes around me. First, my health is in flux; I'm healthier than I have been in the last six years. I'd forgotten what it is like to feel a little energetic--to feel I can, rather than I can't. I don't dread a trip to the mall or a visit to a friend anymore. I can make all the church services without falling asleep during the sermon. But, as I prepare to apply for another transplant, I'm a little worried about the change that comes with that--having to heal again from another surgery, more potent meds, and their side-effects, and the possibility that this transplant, too, will fail. I'm placing my faith in God--if it is His will, I will receive this transplant and it will last.
Secondly, my home life is changing. Although I've been an empty-nester while Elisabeth has been away at school, she may really leave home as she looks for a teaching job. Then it will just be my husband and I. This change is going to be difficult. When she's home for the summer, I have a companion to go shopping with, to go swimming with, and just to talk with. Rick works very long hours, so he is too tired to do anything most of the time. My son has been gone for over ten years, and he has his own full life back in Sanford. We lived in the same city with him when he first left home, so we could see him and his family often. But when my baby leaves, I'll be here with just Rick. I'm anticipating being very lonely when she leaves. But life is made of change, so I will have to support her in any way I can as she begins her own adult life.
Thirdly, my spiritual life is changing. It has to change to accomodate the other changes in my life. I'm excited to participate in an on-line study led by a friend of mine--this will force me to be more faithful in my devotions. I have pledged to be a more active witness for God. As much as I talk, this is still difficult for me. I'm beginning by watching the people I know at the dialysis center and sending them cards with scripture when it is appropriate. I'm hoping the cards will open a way to talk to them. Our youth pastor gave a sermon about service and serving with the right heart attitude. This is something I'm actively applying as I serve as a back-up pianist. Choir is a joy--no attitude problems there. But, I don't always have the best attitude when I'm asked to play the piano for choir. This week is the perfect example--I was told on Sunday that I was going to play the next Sunday for all services. That only gives me a week to go over all the music for choir practice, perfect the ensemble song, learn the soloist's song, and prepare an offeratory. But, I'm looking at this as my opportunity to serve--not my burden.
The Bible addresses the changes of life in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven..." The seasons of my life are changing.
Change is also the theme of my life right now. These changes have nothing to do with politics or the economy, but are personal changes. Fortunately, I like change, and I usually embrace changes around me. First, my health is in flux; I'm healthier than I have been in the last six years. I'd forgotten what it is like to feel a little energetic--to feel I can, rather than I can't. I don't dread a trip to the mall or a visit to a friend anymore. I can make all the church services without falling asleep during the sermon. But, as I prepare to apply for another transplant, I'm a little worried about the change that comes with that--having to heal again from another surgery, more potent meds, and their side-effects, and the possibility that this transplant, too, will fail. I'm placing my faith in God--if it is His will, I will receive this transplant and it will last.
Secondly, my home life is changing. Although I've been an empty-nester while Elisabeth has been away at school, she may really leave home as she looks for a teaching job. Then it will just be my husband and I. This change is going to be difficult. When she's home for the summer, I have a companion to go shopping with, to go swimming with, and just to talk with. Rick works very long hours, so he is too tired to do anything most of the time. My son has been gone for over ten years, and he has his own full life back in Sanford. We lived in the same city with him when he first left home, so we could see him and his family often. But when my baby leaves, I'll be here with just Rick. I'm anticipating being very lonely when she leaves. But life is made of change, so I will have to support her in any way I can as she begins her own adult life.
Thirdly, my spiritual life is changing. It has to change to accomodate the other changes in my life. I'm excited to participate in an on-line study led by a friend of mine--this will force me to be more faithful in my devotions. I have pledged to be a more active witness for God. As much as I talk, this is still difficult for me. I'm beginning by watching the people I know at the dialysis center and sending them cards with scripture when it is appropriate. I'm hoping the cards will open a way to talk to them. Our youth pastor gave a sermon about service and serving with the right heart attitude. This is something I'm actively applying as I serve as a back-up pianist. Choir is a joy--no attitude problems there. But, I don't always have the best attitude when I'm asked to play the piano for choir. This week is the perfect example--I was told on Sunday that I was going to play the next Sunday for all services. That only gives me a week to go over all the music for choir practice, perfect the ensemble song, learn the soloist's song, and prepare an offeratory. But, I'm looking at this as my opportunity to serve--not my burden.
The Bible addresses the changes of life in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven..." The seasons of my life are changing.
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