Well, Christmas is over. I think that this year I enjoyed my church's Christmas Eve service most. We had a candlelight Communion service. The church was beautiful; candles down the center aisle and beautiful flower arrangements with candles and white tulle blocking off the back pews. The congregation sat all together in the front half of the pews. It was nice to sit so close to my brothers and sisters for Communion. Pastor spoke only briefly, reminding us that the baby Jesus we sing about to celebrate His birth became the crucified Jesus who died for our sins because He loves us so. As I ate the bread and drank the wine, I was so aware of the seeming incongruity of the tiny baby in a manager and the bloody, beaten Christ on the cross. The son loved by Mary and Joseph became the Christ who loved me enough to die for me. This Christmas Communion pierced my heart and reminded me just how much God loves us all.

Merry Christmas! I'm happy with myself--I've sent out my Christmas cards, and I'm finished with my Christmas shopping. Now I can relax and enjoy the season. Our Christmas cantata is this Sunday, and I'm excited because it contains excerpts from The Messiah. Now, if our final practice will go well tomorrow, I'll be ready to sing and praise the Lord on Sunday. Actually, I'll sing and praise even if the choir is not ready. Praise comes from the heart and doesn't need to be sung perfectly for the Lord to accept it.

My daughter is home from college, and it's nice to have company during the day. We've shopped, and yesterday donated some time to the dialysis center by decorating their Christmas tree. This morning, everyone was complimentary about the tree. That's a good feeling! It's a little thing, but for the clients there, it's nice to have something to look at other than a TV screen and other clients.

I'm looking forward to spending time with my whole family on Christmas Day. I always love to see my son and his family, and I hope the kids will be happy with the gifts we've bought for them. My DIL asked me to buy clothes--which I did--but I had to get toys too! The little monkey has already complained when I've bought him underwear. Apparently, he doesn't think underwear is such a great gift. I don't want to be the underwear and pj Nona. I need to keep some good reputation with the kids. So, a small toy will do that.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to all!

Memories

What a nostalgic day this has turned out to be! I was planning to do just a little cleaning and to run over to the library and Publix. When I was at the library, I asked about the state of Strawberry Girl, which I've put on hold twice and twice I've not picked it up on time. Strawberry Girl was recommended to me by my daughter. She read it for a children's lit class and enjoyed it. And, surprisingly, I never read it--especially since it's about a girl in Florida.

As the librarian checked for me, she casually asked if I had ever read the All of a Kind books. I was excited! I loved the All of a Kind series when I read them in elementary school. I learned so much about Judiasm, and I was so enthusiastic about the books, I wanted to convert! Thus began my day of nostalgia. I started remembering all the books I had enjoyed so much when I was growing up. Books were my passion--I read everyday and everything I could get my hands on. Now I'm determined to pick up Strawberry Girl on time; if only to remember the enjoyment I received from the well-written books I lived for as a child.

Then, when I got home, I decided to try out the CD player. My husband, for my birthday present, finally hooked up the CD player, cassette player, and turntable so I can listen to my music again. I've waited three years for this! So, on went the music. I just picked the setting for random, so I didn't know what would play. The Beatles made the first cut--again, I was transported back to my junior high years when Let It Be, the album, came out. Then on to an early Beatles CD and then James Taylor. I've been singing along and just enjoying remembering the times of my life the music represents.

What an afternoon! I was in the mood for a little nostalgia, I guess. The dogs have not been as happy as I. I don't know if it's the music or my singing, but they've been whining and howling throughout the afternoon. I think it's me. Surely the Beatles and James Taylor sing better than I!

It's been one of those weeks. Bad dialysis, a cold coming on, money's tight, and the house is messy. But, as always, I have something to look forward to. On Saturday, we're going back home for our grandchildren's birthday party. Since two have November birthdays and two have the same birthday in December, mom and dad decided to have one big party for all four kids. I'm looking forward to watching them run and play in the park. Is there a sweeter sound on earth than that of children laughing? I look forward to hearing those giggles tomorrow.

And, of course, Thanksgiving is next week. And my birthday. I'll be 53 on Thanksgiving Day. Fifty-three years of living--more than half a century. I wish I had words of wisdom from all that I've learned in my life, but I think part of wisdom is learning it for yourself. I can't look back over the years and have regrets over anything. What was done, was done. And I can't look forward to years to come. I'm not promised any day but today. After being diagnosed with PKD, I think that fact really hit home with me. I hope I've become a little less impatient, a little more caring, and more open to what each day brings.

During this time of the year, I do thank God for all He has done for me. I should be thanking Him each day. I have wonderful children who make me proud to be their mother. As I've watched them grow up and mature, I'm thankful that they both are faithful to church and to God. My daughter-in-law is one of the best mothers I've ever seen. I appreciate her love and care for my son and their children. My husband has been supportive throughout our time together, but even more so now that I've a chronic medical condition. He may not be the most romantic man on earth, but he shows me he loves me every day by what he does for me.I have a sister who loves me, and my Aunt Nancy who is becoming my second mother. I don't have a big family, but the family I do have gives me love and support. And God has given me so many good friends. Some are long-term friends--Patti, Dana, and Susana. Some are friends I've made teaching--Maria, Kelly, Virginia, Johnette. And some are new friends--Sarah, Priscilla, Pat, Renata. Most importantly, God has blessed me with good pastors since the day I was saved. Bro. Chapman, Bro. Eddy,Pastor Turley, Preacher, Pastor Scott, and Pastor Johnson--these men have taught me, encouraged me, and, sometimes, chastised me.

Thank you, Lord, for all you've given me.

Ahh, it's nice and cool today. The sun is shining, nice and bright; the wind is blowing; and the temperature is below 70. The perfect Florida fall day. Today certainly makes up for yesterday.

I try to maintain a good attitude about dealing with my chronic illness. And I usually don't have too much trouble. But yesterday was a hard day. I didn't get much sleep the night before--our blind cocker spaniel has her days and nights mixed up. She wanted to play and go out. I needed to get up extra early to be at dialysis by 5:45. Someone who is in my chair after me needed to come in early, so Nurse Judy asked me to come in early. I don't mind that--early in means early out. I even had a good tech. But, something happened and too much fluid was taken off--two pounds worth (one kilo). My legs started cramping; my feet actually curled upward, like elf shoes, and I couldn't get them uncurled no matter how hard I pulled. Then my blood pressure dropped. That meant I had to be turned upside down in the chair. I hate that. It was lab day, so I couldn't even get off one minute early. Finally, all my blood was returned and a little saline--the cramping stopped. Ahhhhhh.

It's this kind of a day that reminds me I'm not immune to the difficult effects of my disease. It's this kind of a day that reminds me that I'm not able to go through this alone. Yes, I need the techs, the saline, and a silent acceptance of the pain. As my cramps continued throughout the day, I needed the kindness and understanding of my husband. It's hard to push a vaccum when your foot is curled upward, and you have to walk on your heels! But, most importantly, I was reminded that I need God's strength--not just on the bad days--but on the good days as well. He is with me each day as I live with a chronic medical condition. He knows the reason why I am the only person, in a family full of PKD sufferers, whose condition deteriorated so rapidly. What do I need to know? First, that He is always with me. God has promised, "I will never leave thee or forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). Second, I don't have to continue in my strength alone, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee. Be not dismayed; for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (Isaiah 41:10). With those two promises, even a bad day is good.

I need a little color today. It's gray, but still warm and muggy outside. I'm waiting for the promised cold front to come through--I'm looking forward to the cooler weather and crisp, cloudless nights.

A beautiful, cloudless night sky is one of my favorite things. To look up and, even through the light pollution, to see the stars, planets, and moon calms my soul. I look up and remember that a sovereign Lord made each star, each planet, each galaxy in perfection--and He made them all for my enjoyment. I wish I knew more about the night skies, but I can pick out some of the planets. On Election Day, I was walking the dogs at twilight and looked in the eastern sky. There was a beautfiul crescent moon, with one bright light near its tip and another below and to the right of it. The sight was absolutely breathtaking. When the dogs tugged to go in, I ran to the computer and looked up what was in the sky that night--a crescent moon with Jupiter at its tip and Venus below. I've been following the planets and moon as they have moved across the sky this last week. Their precision and beauty could only come from the Creator.

I will continue to scan the skies each night. I'll be looking for the beauty God created, and I'll be listening for the trumpet's call.

Today is Veteran's Day. Veteran's Day has always been a special day for me, even from childhood. My mother would remind me that my dear, beloved Granddaddy fought in World War II. He left his home, his wife, and his three daughters to go to the European theatre to fight for their freedom. She would also remind me of my Great-Uncle Steve Skinner. I never met Uncle Steve, although I used to sleep in a room with a large portrait of him hung on the wall. I only knew that he had been killed during World War II. It wasn't until my sister contacted a gentleman who served with Uncle Steve that I found out about his service. This gentleman wrote her how Uncle Steve was so proud of being a Southerner and a Floridian. He wrote how he loved Uncle Steve's Southern accent and Southern manners. But he also wrote that Uncle Steve knew he would never return to his beloved Florida once they went overseas. And Uncle Steve was right. He was hit by artillery fire and his body was never found. He never returned, not even to be buried, to his home in Florida.

Now, on Veteran's Day, I think of those who fought in Korea, Viet Nam, Kuwait, Afghanistan, and Iraq. I think of the men and women fighting right now in the Middle East, trying to keep us safe from the growing threat of terrorism, as they also try to keep fragile democracies alive. I think of my former students who have and are serving. I think of the ones who have returned; they are different; they became men of strength, honor, and valor. I pray that our President-Elect will continue to support our troops and give them the necessary materials to continue their fight.

Finally, I look around my church at all the elderly gentlemen. Many of these men served during the greatest war--World War II. They are silent about their service; they are proud of their country. I am brought to tears to think what some of these men witnessed and endured in service to their country.

God bless America! God bless our military! God bless the veterans!

Election Day--Part II

Well, my candidate didn't win the election, and I am disappointed. But I was moved by Sen. McCain's concession speech. I believe he was sincere when he said he would work with President-Elect Obama to help solve the crisis our nation is experiencing. I have made a pledge to keep Barack Obama in my prayers as he prepares to lead our nation. I believe that God's plan is being fulfilled, "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God; the powers that be are ordained of God." Romans 13:1 And no matter what happens, I will never be separated from God's love: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?. . . Nay in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." Romans 8:35, 37

Thank you, Lord, for sustaining me through difficult times and for keeping Your promise to never leave me or forsake me. I will pray for my nation, my government, and my President.

Today was Election Day. My polling place was almost empty when I arrived at 11:30 am. For this Floridian, voting was a breeze. As always, I'm excited and proud to vote. Growing up in the 60's and early 70's made me appreciate the right to vote. When the law changed and eighteen-year-olds were allowed to vote, I couldn't wait for my first election. My best friend and I went together to register to vote, and we were so excited to be taking that first step toward adulthood.

The first time I voted was for the governor's race. I went into the voting booth, pushed down the levers for my choices, pulled back the lever that opened the booth and recorded your vote, and it would not move. I tried again and again, but that lever would not open the curtains and let me out. I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed in there. Finally, the security guard asked if I were all right. No, I told him, and began to cry. I thought I had ruined all the votes on that one machine. Fortunately, the poll workers let me leave the booth with the curtains intact, and they let me vote again on another machine. Of course, this was way before the election of 2000, so I didn't have to worry about an over-vote, under-vote, or hanging chads.

Today, I just filled in the ovals. But the sense of excitement hasn't left. I'm still proud that I can vote freely in our country. I'm proud that I have a choice in who will lead our nation for the next four years. I'm blessed to have been born in America. I thank God I was born in America, the greatest nation on earth.

God bless America!

And so it goes.....

"And so it goes, and so it goes...." Billy Joel's lyrics have come to define my life during the last nine years. I went from a fairly healthy woman to a woman who must depend on dialysis to continue living. In 1999, I was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease (PKD) which is a genetic condition affecting the kidneys. By 2004, my kidneys had failed, and I began dialysis. I was fortunate to receive a transplant in 2006, but the kidney failed in 2007. So I'm back on dialysis.

I found that during the years my kidneys were failing, that life continues. I still had triumphs and failures; my children grew and changed and continued their lives; and my husband still worked on his career goals, even as he had to take care of me. And so it goes....

Teaching others about PKD has become one of my missions in life. This disease is one of the most common life-threatening genetic diseases, but very few people are aware of its existence. If a parent has PKD, his/her children have a 50/50 chance of having the disease. The PKD Foundation (www.pkdcure.org) is working toward finding both a cure and an effective treatment for PKD. I'm working toward staying in the best health I can so I can walk and raise money for the cure in 2009. My team in 2008 raised enough money to fund two weeks of research.

But there is another side to my life, I'm not just a PKD patient. I'm a mother, a Nona to four beautiful grandchildren, a wife, and just plain me! As I continue this blog, I'll share a little about my life--past, present, and future--as well as information about kidney disease and organ donation. I hope that readers will find my blog interesting and information.